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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29884992">Roadtrip</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aot_women_supremacy/pseuds/Aot_women_supremacy'>Aot_women_supremacy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort, F/F, Fun, Gen, M/M, Nightmares, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:40:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29884992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aot_women_supremacy/pseuds/Aot_women_supremacy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You were in rose wall college. Your friends decided to go on a roadtrip as a reward after the colossal exams. You had three months of free time. This was definetly going to be chaotic. </p><p>But just as the fun began so did the hunting of your past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Drive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was 3am. You slowly forced yourself to get up and get ready. You took a quick shower, brushed your teeth and put on grey swratpants and a green hoodie. You put your headphones and charger into your backpack and put on your shoes.</p><p>A knock. "Coming." You hurried around your dorm, getting your bags. You opened the door and infront of you was a almost asleep Sasha eating a bagel. "Morning. We have to go everyone is waiting on you." You closed your door and you went to the parking lot of the dormbuilding.</p><p>There were two VW busses. One was yellow and the other one was blue. Sasha pulled you towards the blue one and helped you put your bags into the trunk. In the front seats were Levi, Hange and Erwin, in the middle was Connie and in the back row were Mikasa, Eren and Armin. Sasha sat beside Connie and you got in next to her.</p><p>"Is everyone ready?" Hange was turning backwards. Earning a few yawns and head noddings, they chuckled and Erwin started to drive. You still were tired but falling asleep wasn't really an option beside Sasha and Connie. They immediatly started to fight over a bag of chips. </p><p>"Umm, who is in the other bus?" You totally forgot the others. Eren leaned forwards. "Ymir, Krista, Jean, Marco, Annie, Reiner, Berthold and Nanaba." You raised your eyebrows. </p><p>"Nanaba really joined us? I tought she didn't want to." Armin was now leaning forward. "Yeah but she cracked at the end. And we needed another driver anyways." You nodded your head and looked out of the window.</p><p>You watched as the campus buildings passed and you slowly got on the highway. There weren't many cars due to the fact that it was fricking 4am. Sasha and Connie slowly calmed down and got out thier Nintendos, Mikasa was asleep, Armin and Eren were reading a comic toghether and Levi and Hange were fighting over the route they should take.</p><p>Your eyes got heavier and heavier. Your head fell against the window and you fell asleep.</p><p>---</p><p>"We're going to take a break at the next gas station." You eyes fluttered open. Sasha was bouncing up and down and Connie was laughing. You looked at the clock on the console. 8am. You turned your head towards Sasha.</p><p>"What's up with you?" She was biting her lip, clearly not able to give you an awnser. Connie leaned forwardsd, so that he could look you in the face. "This idiot decided to chug a whole bottle of water and now has to pee." You held back your giggles.</p><p>It took you 5 minutes to the next gas station. Before the car even properly parked, was Sasha already on top of your legs, ready to jump out of the car. The car stopped completely and Sasha ran towards the bathroom. You got out, so that everbody could get out too.</p><p>"I'm gonna buy some snacks, does anybody wanna join me?" Hange was standing infront of the group. You raised your hand and so did Mikasa and Connie. "Great, let's go!" Overly excited Hange skipped towards the entrance, you, Mikasa and Connie following them. </p><p>Sasha joined after a while and bought a lot of snacks. You only bought a sandwich, a coke, a bottle of water and some gummy bears. You paid and walked towards the car. Levi and Erwin were waiting on everyone. "Are the others coming?" Levi was definetly annoyed, that he had to take a break already. You shrugged you shoulders and sat back in the car.</p><p>The rest got to the car 5 minutes later. "Are you all done? We're not going to take another break before 1pm." Everyone sat back in thier seats and Erwin started to drive again. It didn't take very long for Sasha and Connie to start bickering again. They fought over who won the last race in Mariokart. </p><p>"Sasha, watch it!" Sasha full on bumped into you when Connie tried to snatch her nintendo from her. "Sorry!" She swatted at Connie who started to laugh even louder. </p><p>"Quit it, you two!" Erwin was slowly getting annoyed with them. Sasha and Connie immediatly stopped laughing. You looked out of the window, just in time to see the yellow bus of the other group. </p><p>In the front were Nanaba, Bertholt and Annie, in the middle Jean, Marco and Reiner and in the back Ymir and Krista. The car passed your car and you watched them speeding up. Your attention was pulled away from the passing cars when Mikasa tapped your shoulder.</p><p>"Hmm?" You turned your head towards her. "Can you play some music over the aux-cord?" You nodded and turned towards Hange. "Can I have the aux-cord?" They immediatly handed it to you and you began to play some music.</p><p>---</p><p>The time passed slowly. It was nearing 4pm when Erwin pulled up to a gas station. "I need to tank. Go to the bathroom or get some snacks. We're leaving in 30 minutes." You got out of the car first and streched your limbs. You still had to drive 4 hours before you would arrive at the first motel. </p><p>Mikasa and you went to the bathroom and afterwards you went to buy some more snacks. You bought some chips, a water bottle and another sandwich. Sasha on the other hand went a little over the top. She had bought chips, some candy, two sandwiches, a sixpack of coke and a chocolate bar.</p><p>When you got to the car, nobody was there. You threw your things onto your seat and sat down beside the car. You watched the birds flying over your head and you listened to the passing cars on the street. You sat there for quite a while before everyone started to get back.</p><p>"Okay! We're going to drive for another 4 hours before we arrive at the motel. Get in." Erwin was already getting into the car. You got in last and buckled up your seatbelt. Armin had handed you a comic earlier and you started to read it.</p><p>---</p><p>It was 8 pm when you finally arrived at the motel. The other groups car was already in the parking lot. You all got your bags for the night out and headed inside. Levi and Hange checked in for everyone. They had three rooms for everyone. The girls, the boys and Levi, Hange, Erwin and Nanaba. </p><p>You headed to the elevator on the left. Mikasa and Sasha joined you. You had the room 104. Mikasa lead the way towards the room and knocked on in. "Come in!" Mikasa opened the door and you followed inside. </p><p>On the left was a small bathroom. Infront of you were two double beds and a single bed. Ymir and Krista were already occuping a double bed and Annie had taken the single bed. Great. That meant that you had to share a bed with someone.</p><p>You threw your things onto the floor and went straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed. You quickly brushed your teeth and got out of the bathroom, so that Mikasa and Sasha could go in.</p><p>You got onto the left side of the bed. Mikasa and Saha joined you after brushing thier teeth. Mikasa was standing infront of the bed, looking at you. "What?" You raised you eyebrows. "Scootch over. You're sleeping in the middle." You huffed.</p><p>"And why would I do that? I got here first." She walked over to your side. "Because you're the smallest one of us and I don't want Sasha to sleep ontop of me." Before you could protest she had picked you up and literally threw you to the middle of the bed. </p><p>Sasha broke out laughing and got onto the right side of the bed and Mikasa on the left. Annie went and switched of the lights. "Goodnight." Everyone said good night and fell asleep.</p><p>---</p><p>Your nightmares had gotten better, or so you tought. For the last few months you only had some bad dreams but they weren't really bad. But something must have triggered you that day because you woke up drenched in sweat.</p><p>You were panting and looked around the room. You could hear Sasha snoring. Everyone seemed to be asleep. You got out of bed as fast as possible and left the room. You almost ran towards the elevators and outside to the car.</p><p>You sat down beside the car, leaning against it. Your whole body was trembling and tears had started to fall. 'I tought they had gotten better? Why now?' Your toughts were racing trough your head. You tried everything to avoid thinking about that night. The night which changed your life completely.</p><p>You were breathing so loud that you didn't hear the person approaching you. They tapped you on your shoulder and your head shot up. More tears started to stream down your cheeks. Mikasa immediatly kneeled down and held you.</p><p>"Shhhh, it's okay." She kept holding you and calming you down. Your tears stopped falling down but you weren't ready to let go. Mikasa rubbed your back.</p><p>"Do you wanna get back inside?" You slightly nodded, scared to let go. But she didn't let go. Mikasa picked you up and carried you up to the room. On the way she didn't say another word. Even when you got to the room.</p><p>She just put you on the bed and got in beside you. She pulled you closer and you snuggled close to her side. She tightened her grip around you and you fell asleep.</p><p>---</p><p>It was too good to be true. Just as you tought you could sleep in peace, the memorys came back. Every little detail of that night just flooded inside your head. </p><p>You awoke with a jerk only to find Mikasa looking at you. She wiped away your tears and held you closer. You felt exhausted and it was hard for you to stay awake.</p><p>Knowing that Mikasa was there and watching you, you felt a little at ease. You relaxed your muscles and fell asleep for real this time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Drive II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Awww, look how cute they are. Quick take a picture, Ymir!" Kristas voice rang through the room. Your eyes were still closed when you felt a body beside you shuffle.</p><p>You jerked up only to find Mikasa beside you still asleep and Ymir, Krista and Sasha were standing over your bed. "What the fuck?!" You covered Ymirs camera with your hand, still not completely understanding the situation.</p><p>Ymir jumped back to save her phone. Krista was still looking at you like you were a puppy and Sasha was just standing there and watching you and Mikasa. Annie appeared behind Sasha and smirked at you.</p><p>"What do we have here? A cuddling Ackerman and l/n?" You buried your face behind your pillow. You didn't see it but it definetly sounded like someone had just gotten hit in the face with a pillow. You put your pillow down and immediatly broke out laughing.</p><p>Annie had gotten hit with Mikasas pillow right in her face. Annie recovered and charged at Mikasa with her pillow. Sasha joined with her pillow and soon everyone was in a massive pillow fight. Just as Ymir was suffocating you with a pillow the door opened and a sleepy looking Nanaba stood in your doorway.</p><p>"You do realise that we can hear you over there, right? Anyways, since you all woke everyone up, we're going to leave in an hour. Get ready." The door closed and Ymir looked back down at you with a smirk. She didn't leave you any time to react and she continued to suffocate you.</p><p>Krista came to your rescue and tickled Ymir until she fell off the bed. You immediatly got into a defencive stance and jumped on top of Sasha to hold her down. Annie and Mikasa began to tickle her. Sasha was screaming and kicking by the time you stopped.</p><p>Deciding to get ready to leave, everyone packed thier bags, went to the bathroom and headed to the cars.</p><p>---</p><p> Nanaba and Hange were standing next to your car and Levi and Erwin next to the other. "Alright! We're going to make girl and boy groups now because we have to sleep in the car tonight." Hange was explaining. </p><p>Jean and Reiner were complaining about it but just as they wanted to protest, Levi glared at them. Eren, Armin, Jean, Marco, Connie, Reiner, Berthold, Levi and Erwin got into the yellow car and drove off.</p><p>"Let's go, guys!" Nanaba said. Ymir, Krista and Annie got into the back, Mikasa, you and Sasha in the middle and Nanaba and Hange were in the front. You sat on the right side with Mikasa on your left. </p><p>Hange started to drive. You fastened your seatbelt and looked out of the window. The sun was starting to rise and the streets got busier. This was going to one hell of a drive.</p><p>---</p><p>After three hours of driving Hange stopped at a gas station, so that everyone could go and buy lunch and some snacks. You and Sasha hopped out of the car and raced each other to the entrance of the shop.</p><p>"You've gotten faster." You said trying to catch your breath. Of course you won but it was close. Sasha was panting next to you. "Next time, I'm definetly going to win." She wiggled her eyebrows at you.</p><p>You slapped her shoulder and entered the shop. You and the others bought some sandwiches, chips, apples and some candy. You payed for your stuff and went back to the car with Sasha.</p><p>You threw your stuff into your bag and you got back into your seat. The others joined you a little while later and Hange started to drive again. Sasha already began to eat her chips and you were chewing on some gum.</p><p>---</p><p>You, Mikasa and Sasha had started to watch a movie on Mikasas laptop to pass the time. Annie was listening to music and Ymir and Krista were also watching a movie.</p><p>You weren't really paying attention to the movie. Your thoughts kept wandering to your nightmare you had. It had been weeks since you had your last nightmare and now it had started out of nowhere. </p><p>You did everything you could not to think about the event that caused all of the nightmares. Now was not the time to have a breakdown. You forced yourself to watch the movie.</p><p>The movie was finished pretty quickly after that and it was lunch time. Everyone got out thier sandwiches and ate them. To lighten the mood you asked for the aux-cord and played some music.</p><p>---</p><p>Hange kept driving until it was dark. They stopped the car near a forest on a parking lot. The boys car wasn't there, meaning that they had stopped somewhere else.</p><p>"Get your pyjamas out of your bags and go pee in the woods." Nanaba was already making her way to the trunk. You showed Sasha out of the car and got out yourself. </p><p>"I'll go pee first." You headed towards the forest. You forgot to take your phone with you, so you didn't have a flashlight. "Great." You got behind a big bush and peed.</p><p>When you finished, you got up and started to walk back to the car. The wind was howling trough the trees and to be honest you were scared, but of course you wouldn't tell that to anyone. You kept your eyes on the floor, in order to not trip and fall. Bad idea.</p><p>There was a branch breaking but you didn't think anything of it. Just as you lifted your eyes from the ground a person was standing infront of you and grabbed your arms. </p><p>It took you by suprise and you screamed. You freed yourself from the hold and fell to the ground. The person took out a flashlight and shone it towards you.</p><p>"Ymir, you bitch!" Ymir just stood there, laughing at you. "Your face!" She fell to the floor, holding her stomach. You got up and brushed off the dirt on your clothes.</p><p>You slapped her on the shoulder, only making her laugh more. You got fed up, so you got ontop of her and held your hand over her mouth. "Shut up!"</p><p>You kept holding her down. "Eww! Stop liking my hand!" She was full on liking your hand. You jumped up and brushed off her spit on your pants. She got up and got ready to tackle you to the ground.</p><p>But fortunatly Krista came to your rescue again. "What are you guys doing?" Ymir immediatly straightened up and flashed Krista a smile. "Nothing!"</p><p>You huffed and started to walk towards the car, bumping into Ymirs shoulder on your way. Krista gave you a quizzical look but you shrugged your shoulders and started to speedwalk back to the car.</p><p>"There you are!" Sasha came running towards you. "I tought you got kidnapped or something!" You raised your eyebrows. "Sure." Sasha slapped you on the shoulder and went into the woods.</p><p>You got to the trunk and put on some new sweatpants and a t-shirt. Hange and Nanaba were infront of the car, talking about the route that they're going to take tomorrow. </p><p>You climbed into the car and settled down in your seat. You tought you were alone in the car but the cough in the backseat proved you wrong. </p><p>You turned around and there was Annie. "Annie?" She looked at you. "What?" You scrached your head. "Do you not have to pee?" She chuckled.</p><p>"I already did. And by the way I heard everything between you and Ymir." The patted you on the head. You slapped her hand away and turned away from her. "That was not funny." </p><p>She laughed. "Oh yes it was!" You shook your head and pulled a blanket over you. You leaned against the door, using your right arm as your pillow.</p><p>The others joined you 10 minutes later. "Scootch over." You raised your eyebrows at Mikasa. No, I will not." Mikasa smirked and pushed you to the middle. "Yes you are!" </p><p>Before you could sit back onto your seat, Mikasa had gotten in the car and was now sitting in your spot. "You're mean." She booped you on the nose and smiled. </p><p>Sasha got in on your left, technically trapping you between her and Mikasa. Hange and Nanaba were in the front and Annie, Ymir and Krista in the back.</p><p>"Goodnight!" Everyone said goodnight and it got silent. You felt the exhaustion of the day washing over you. Sasha was already asleep and had fallen onto your legs. Before you completely fell asleep your head fell onto Mikasas shoulder.</p><p>It got darker and you fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Camping ground</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had sime trouble imagining a place, so for my fellow Sims 4 players: I have actually built all the important locations, so if you want to check out the camping ground: go to the gallery. It's called Camping Ground FF and it's by seestern75.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You woke up in the most uncomfortable position there was. You were half laying on Mikasa and the other half of your body was practically dangling from the seats. Sasha was on your legs and you felt a weight on your stomach. </p><p>You opened your eyes to find Annie passed out ontop of you. She must have climbed to the middle seats while you were sleeping. You only looked towards Hange and Nanaba for a second before something bright flashed you.</p><p>"What the-" You rubbed your eyes. "What the fuck, Nanaba?!" Hange was covering thier mouth. Nanaba had a camera in her hand and was smirking. "Memories. It's not everyday we see all of you cuddling." You rolled your eyes.</p><p>You heard a loud groan from the back seats. You couldn't move so you waited for the person to show themselves. Ymir sat up with her hair all over her face. Before you could say anything, Annie was sitting up, crushing you stomach. She slapped Ymir on the back of her head.</p><p>"Ow! What is wrong with you, Leonhardt?!" Annie layed back into her position she was before slapping Ymir. "That's for pushing me off the seats, twice! And for literally drooling on me. I had to climb to the middle seats without making any noise." Now Sasha was mumbling something.</p><p>"What was that Sasha?" You looked at her. "I said that didn't work. You full on fell onto me while climbing over the seats." Annie held back a giggle. "Sorry for that." Now Mikasa and Krista were sitting up, both yawning at the same time. </p><p>"What's happening?" Mikasa had really bad bedhair, so everyone broke out laughing. She just looked annoyed but before she could make you all shut up Hange jumped out of the car.</p><p>"Come on, laidies! Go pee, so that we can arrive at the camping ground before the boys." With that they headed towards the woods. Nanaba followed closely behind them.</p><p>Everyone got out of the car, peed and got back into thier right seats. Hange started to drive. "This should only take us another four hours." </p><p>---</p><p>"Sasha get out of the car!" You were pushing her out of her seat. "Alright, alright, I'm going!" You jumped out of the car and admired the view. </p><p>Before you were three wooden huts. Around them were trees and bushes. You looked up and noticed the giant roofwindows. "Wow!" Mikasa passed you in that moment and threw your bags at you, taking you to the ground. </p><p>"Ow!" Before you were able to get up, Nanaba had taken a photo again, earning a groan from you. Sasha stood next to you and helped you up. "Come on, let's go inside!"</p><p>Sasha grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the left house. You opened the door and looked around. There were yellow beds on the left and red beds on your right and a wardrobe right next to you. You walked down the three steps and headed to the back wall of the hut. You threw your bags on the bed in the very back and immediatly ran out of the hut.</p><p>Mikasa, Ymir and Annie were heading towards the middle hut, so you hurried over to them. Mikasa opened the door and it revealed a giant room with three identical kitchen. It wasn't that interesting, so everyone headed to the hut on the right.</p><p>It was a giant dining hall with 4 tables that could fit 8 people each.  Last but not least you headed behind the dininghut and there were the toilets. On the left the girls bathroom and on the right the boys bathroom.</p><p>You all ran towards the parking spots in the front when you heard the boys car. Everyone immediatly jumped out of the car and walked around the camping ground. It took about an hour before everyone had chosen thier beds and had carried all the bags inside.</p><p>---</p><p>It was already getting dark by the time Erwin had managed to turn on the fire in the giant fire place infront of the huts. Levi and Nanaba walked out from the middle hut with two giant pots of food. They headed towards the dining hall. "Come on, guys! Food is ready!" </p><p>Just as you started to get up from the floor, Sasha tackled you down to the floor on her way to the food. "Sasha, watch it!" You giggled and got up, following everyone inside.</p><p>You headed to the table in the left back. Reiner, Bertholt, Annie, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Eren and you were at the table. Everyone had a plate of spaghetti infront of them. You started to eat when Reiner bumped Jeans shoulder.</p><p>"Do you have it? I think today is the day we use it." Jean nodded his head while he was chewing on his pasta. "Yeah, I think so too." Ymir raised her eyebrows in question.</p><p>"Use what?" Reiner smirked and leaned over the table to whisper it. "Jean has three bottles of vodka." Ymir squeled. "Fuck yeah!" Reiner immediatly pressed his hand over Ymirs mouth. </p><p>"Be quiet, it's going to be a suprise for the others." Ymir nodded and Reiner lifted his hand, looking at it. He sighed and turned his hand towards her. "Did you lick my hand?" Ymir smirked, which was an awnser enough.</p><p>---</p><p>After everyone had finished up thier dinner, you headed towards the fire. Everyone was there exept for Jean, Reiner, Levi, Erwin, Hange and Nanaba. Jean and Reiner came back with three bottles of vodka and four bottles of coke.</p><p>"Let's have fun!" Jean went around and handed everyone a plastic cup and Reiner poured everyone some vodka in it. You took a bottke of coke and mixed it with the strong smelling alcohol. This was going to be a wild evening.</p><p>---</p><p>It was only three hours later and you were already hammered. You had four cups of vodka mixed with coke and one cup of pure vodka because Sasha had started a chugging competition.</p><p>You were currently laying on your back, on the grass, next to the fire. You turned your head and were face to face with Sasha, who was also laying on her back. You immediatly broke out laughing when you saw Sashas face.</p><p>She was smirking at something which made her look very funny. You were clutching at your stomach. "Oh my god!" You weren't able to stop laughing. It didn't help that Connie was standing over you the next second.</p><p>You streached your arm and booped him on the nose, only making your laughing worse. "Guys, wanna do something stupid?" Before you knew it, you were standing next to Connie, pulling up Sasha.</p><p>"Fuck yeah! Let's go!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Mistakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You, Connie and Sasha were running behind the huts. It was a miracle that you were able to run after all the vodka you had. Sasha was running infront of you, so you slowed her down and jumped on her back.</p>
<p>"Let's go, Sasha!" Sasha started to run again with you on her back. Connie was behind you. You slowed down after a few minutes when you were far enough in the trees and bushes. Sasha put you down and you fell on you butt.</p>
<p>"Connie, what did you wanna do?" Connie turned around and smirked. He pulled something out of his pockets and showed it to Sasha and you. "Oh my god! Where did you get this joint?" He shrugged his shoulders and light it up with a match.</p>
<p>He took a few pulls from it and handed it to Sasha. She also took a few pulls before she handed it to you. You had taken two pulls when you heard Levi yelling.</p>
<p>"Where are the other three brats?!" You couldn't hear the responses, so you took another pull, slowling inhaling it. Connie swatted at your arm, signaling to hand it over. You took one last pull and handed it to him. </p>
<p>You sat down on the floor, slowly feeling the effects of the weed. Connie had taked another few pulls before he handed it to Sasha again. </p>
<p>"Guys?" Sasha and Connie looked at you. "I think I heard someone heading towards us." Connie patted you on the head. "First time, huh?" You swatted his hand away.</p>
<p>"Well yeah, but I swear I heard something." He shook his head and handed you the joint. "Here, you need more." You accepted it and took a pull. Just as you wanted to take another pull, you saw a flashlight close to your group.</p>
<p>Before you could even react, was the flashlight in your face. "Oh no! We're not doing that!" With that, Nanaba took the joint out of your hands and threw it on the floor. </p>
<p>"Oh, maaaan!" Connie was kneeling on the floor, trying to find the remains of his joint. "Great, you are allready high." She pulled you up to your feet and helped you walk back towards the fire. Sasha and Connie started to naruto-run past you.</p>
<p>"Why would you sneak off to smoke weed?" You shrugged your shoulders, not being able to stop smirking. With a lot of effort and cursing, Nanaba had managed to sit you down near the fire. "Stay here, I'll bring you some water."</p>
<p>You tried to get up but Nanaba immediatly turned around. "No, stay here!" She held you down by your shoulders and waved at Mikasa to come over.</p>
<p>"Hold her down until I get back." Mikasa nodded and sat behind you. You leaned against her and she put her arms around you. "How much did you have?" You slapped your hand on your own mouth. You were clearly much to high and drunk.</p>
<p>"Now thaaaaat much." She sighed and turned her head towards the others that were slowly coming your way. Annie kneeled down infront of you and smirked.</p>
<p>"Oh wow!" You were confused. "What? What happened?" You looked around, turning your head violently from side to side before Mikasa stopped you by holding your head. </p>
<p>Annie lifted her hands infront of you and pointed with her pointerfingers at you. "Y/n, try to touch them at the same time." You reached out with your fingers but you completely missed, earning a few laughs from everyone.</p>
<p>"Guys, stop it! You're encouraging her!" You turned your head towards Krista. "Don't be a partypooper! Let me have my fun!" You scolded at her. She giggled and left with Ymir.</p>
<p>"I never tought I'd see the day when y/n gets absolutely wasted." Annie was slowly standing, patting you on the head. You looked over to Sasha and Connie. They were rolling on the floor and laughing.</p>
<p>"I wanna gooo there!" You tried to stand up but Mikasa pulled you closer to her. You tried to wiggle your way out but it was hopeless. "No, not yet. We have to wait on Nanaba and after you had some water, then you can join them." </p>
<p>With a pout on your face you slumped back against Mikasa. "No fair." She giggled. Armin walked over to you, supporting Eren on his right.</p>
<p>"Hey, can you watch him for a minute? I need to go get some water." Mikasa nodded and Armin let Eren fall to the ground next to you and Mikasa. Armin speedwalked towards the kitchen and Eren turned himself on the back.</p>
<p>Eren was definetly a bit more wasted than you were. He was throwing his hands trough the air and talking to himself. "Those damn Insects! I'm gonna kill them all!" He had an angry glare on his face.</p>
<p>Nanaba came back with Hange and Armin and a few bottles of water and two blankets. "Here, see that Y/n drinks this." Nanaba handed Mikasa a bottle if water. She opened the bottle and tried to hand it to you.</p>
<p>"No, I don't want it!" You pushed the bottle away from you. Next to you was Eren getting picked up and Armin forced Eren to drink a bottle of water. "You have to." She handed you the bottle.</p>
<p>You took very slow and little sips. Mikasa watched you the entire time. Nanaba kneeled down infront of you. </p>
<p>"You know your lucky that I found you, right? If Levi had found you, you would be getting yelled at right now." You waved your hand infront if her face. She chuckled and got back up.</p>
<p>Right in that moment, Eren jumped up and ran towards the nearest bush. Before anyone noticed, he was throwing up behind the bush. "Oh my god-" Armin rolled his eyes and walked over to Eren. </p>
<p>You finished your bottle of water before Reiner came over with Jean. "Oh wow! Good job!" Reiner lifted his fist for a fist bump. You very slowly returned it, trying your best not to miss. He smiled when you finally did it and walked off.</p>
<p>Jean waved at you and Mikasa and followed Reiner. You slumped against Mikasa even more than before. She hugged you a little closer and brushed your hair out of your face.</p>
<p>"You should try to sleep." You shook your head 'no' "Yes, it would help you feel better." You were still shaking your head. Mikasa got up and threw one of the blankets Hange had brought over you.</p>
<p>"Stay. I'll go get you a washcloth." She turned around and headed to the kitchen. You immediatly got up onto your wobbely legs and wobbled your way over to Sasha and Connie who were still laughing. </p>
<p>"Guuyyysss..." You stood over Sasha. "Oh heeeyyy, y/n! Are you feeling as good as we are?" She started to giggle again. You nodded and sat down beside Connie. </p>
<p>Before you could do anything, Mikasa came running towards you. "You can't just run off! Come here!" She grabbed you under your arms and lifted you up. Your legs were usless by now. Deciding that it would be faster to carry you, Mikasa picked you up bridal style and carried you towards the sleeping hut.</p>
<p>She opened the door and carried you all the way to the back to your bed. She coverd you with your red blanket and put the cold washcloth onto your forehead.</p>
<p>"I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get the other drunk ones." She stood up and left the hut. Your eyes were so heavy that you weren't able to keep them open. You fell asleep in a matter of seconds.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Regret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You slowly opened your eyes. Your head was throbbing and your body was aching all over. You slowly turned yourself over, before you realized that you had been sleeping on the edge of your bed. You fell to the ground with a loud thud.</p><p>"Y/n, are you okay?" It was dark and you couldn't see the person talking to you. You tried to get up but as soon as you even lifted your head, everything began to spin around you. Accepting your defeat you layed back down on the ground, closing your eyes.</p><p>"Y/n?" You flinched when the light got switched on. You rubbed your eyes and opened them slightly. Mikasa was standing infront of you with a worried expression on her face. "Are you okay?" You shook your head. Everything was spinning and to be honest you didn't feel so well.</p><p>"You look a little pale. Come on, I'll bring you to the bathroom." Mikasa lifted you up into her arms and carried you to the grils bathroom. On your way you passed Eren, Armin, Reiner, Jean and Bertholt on your way. They were all unconcious on the ground.</p><p>Mikasa pushed open the door, revealing Sasha, Nanaba, Hange and for some reason Connie. Mikasa carried you over to an empty toilet. She sat you down and held back your hair. In the stall next to you were Krista and Ymir. Krista was throwing up, while Ymir was holding back her hair.</p><p>Everything started to spin faster and before you knew it, you were throwing up too. You heard Hange approaching Mikasa, while you kept throwing up. "Oh no, not another one!" Hange immediatly turned around and fetched a water bottle. </p><p>"Here, make her drink this when she's done." Hange handed Mikasa the bottle and joined Nanaba again. You kept throwing up until there was nothing left to throw up. Mikasa had been rubbing your back and holding back your hair the whole time.</p><p>Mikasa handed you the bottle of water and you rinsed your mouth. You slumped against Mikasa. "Are you feeling any better?" You shook your head. "Okay, let me get you in a better position." She shifted under you and pulled you head on her lap.</p><p>She stoked your hair out of your face. "Try to sleep a bit more, it'll help." You closed your eyes and tried to sleep. It took you quite a while to fall asleep because Krista was still throwing up in the stall next to you. But after what felt like forever, you finally fell asleep again.</p><p>---</p><p>You woke up because you were being moved. You opened your eye to find Mikasa carrying you out of the bathroom. "What are you doing?" Mikasa looked at you.</p><p>"Levi told us to get out, so that he could clean the bathrooms." You nodded and rested your head against Mikasas chest. Everyone went inside the dininghut, so Mikasa carried you inside too. She sat you down at the right table in the back. Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Krista and Jean were already sitting there.</p><p>"You look horrible." Ymir was smirking. "Thank you." Mikasa sat down beside you, making sure that you were okay. "I'm never doing that again." Jean looked at you with a confused expression.</p><p>"Drinking?" You shook your head. "No, I meant smoking weed." Connie scratched his head, making it obvious that it had been his idea. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that." You nodded and put you head in your hands.</p><p>Hange and Nanaba came in. "Guys, we're all going on a walk. It'll help you." Loud complaining errupted from everywhere. "Calm down! Go get ready, we're leaving in 10 minutes." Hange and Nanaba left the hut.</p><p>Everyone slowly got up and went outside. Some were completely fine and some looked a little bit...dead. You looked over to Eren who was already throwing up at night. He looked like he might faint at any moment.</p><p>Connie and Sasha popped up beside you. "Hey, y/n!" You looked at Connie. "How are you doing so good? You literally had double the amount I had." He grinned and patted you on the back. "I have my tricks." Sasha huffed.</p><p>"You didn't inhale all the way! If you would have, you would look like Eren now!" You looked at Sasha. "So, Eren brought the weed?" Connie nodded. "Idiot." </p><p>Everyone exept for Levi was there. Hange, Nanaba and Erwin in the front and the rest in the back. You started to walk away from the camping ground on a little trail. </p><p>The birds were chirping and a warm wind was blowing through the trees. The fresh air was definetly helping your hangover and you felt your body relaxing. You kept trailing behind everyone else, lost in your thoughts. You hadn't realised that everyone had stopped, so you bumped into Bertholt.</p><p>You lost your balance, but before you fell he caught your arm. "Wow, you okay?" You nodded your head and he pulled you up. "Sorry." He gave you a slight smile and turned around.</p><p>You were standing infront of a beautiful little lake with a tiny waterfall. You went closer to the water. You saw the little fish swimming around the edge. They all looked so happy. You turned your head, only to see a giant splash coming your way.</p><p>It was too late. You were completely soaked before you could even react. Behind the splash was Sasha. She was giggling. You immediatly pounced on her and took her down with you into the water. You started to drown her but Connie came to her rescue.</p><p>Toghether with him she started to drown you. Out of nowhere you felt a strong set of arms around your waist. Still disoriented from being underwater you coughed up the water in your lungs. The person had picked you up and carried you deeper into the water.</p><p>You looked at Annies face. She had a giant smirk on her face. "Annie what-" Before you were finished with your sentance, she threw you into the water and started to drown you herself. She kept laughing as you tried to get some air. </p><p>It all stopped and you looked behind Annie. Behind her were standing Mikasa and Ymir. They grabbed Annie and threw her deeper into the water. Everything kind of escalated and a giant water fight had broken out. </p><p>---</p><p>Trying to catch your breath, you sprinted the last few meters out of the water. You layed onto your back and watched the others have a chicken fight. Mikasa and Sasha were definetly winning against Eren and Armin. </p><p>"Come on, Eren!" You cheered the loosing team on. Bad idea. As soon as Sasha had thrown Eren off of Armin, she came running towards you. </p><p>"Who said that you had a free pass on this?" She pulled you up and back into the water. You sat on Marcos shoulders and got ready to fight against Reiner and Jean. Jean had a giant grin on his face.</p><p>"Go get 'em, y/n!" You gave Marco a fist bump and Annie opened the fight. Reiner immediatly got closer, so that Jean could push you down. You doged his attacks as good as possible. In a moment of weakness, you grabbed Jeans sholders and tugged on them, making him fall face first into the water. </p><p>Loud cheering errupted. "Who's next?!" Bertholt and Connie got ready and the fight started. It didn't take you long to push Connie down. One team after another you and Marco completely destroyed. </p><p>Well that was until Erwin and Nanaba fought against you. Not only was the height difference a disadvantage but also Nanabas strenght. She pushed you down and your winning streak was done.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had started to rain. The smell of summer was in the air. You had gotten out of the water along with the others. The boys were taking off thier shirts.</p><p>"God damn! Marco has a sixpack!" You turned your head towards Sasha and then Marco. He really did have one. His face was a deep shade of red. Jean threw his arm around Marco.</p><p>"And what about mine?" Sasha started to giggle. "You mean that?" She pointed at his almost invisible sixpack. Jean started to run towards Sasha. She immediatly took off and ran towards the camping ground, Jean following her.</p><p>"Y/n, let's go. There's going to be a storm." Annie was pulling on your arm. You were walking in the back with Annie and Ymir. Ymir was teasing Annie about something but you weren't really paying attention.</p><p>"Just admit it!" Annie stopped in her tracks. "No! I told you that it is not true!" Ymir smirked and was ready to push further on Annies buttons. "Suuureee..." Annie growled and jumped on Ymirs back.</p><p>"Get off me!" Ymir was trying to shake Annie off with no luck. You had started to laugh, making your stomach hurt. Ymir stopped her wiggling. </p><p>"What are you laughing about?" You immediatly regretted it. "I uh..." You saw Ymir getting ready to attack. You took off as soon as she started to move towards you. You kept running until you had finally caught up with Sasha and Jean. Both of them were panting and sitting on the floor.</p><p>"What the-" You payed no attention to them. You just kept running. Ymir was slowly getting closer to you. "Shit!" You sped up a bit, almost making you fall.</p><p>As soon as you had reached the camping ground, you ran inside the sleepinghut. "Now you're trapped!" Before she could do anything the others came to your rescue. Hange stood infront of the door.</p><p>"Go take a shower and meet in the dininghut with blankets and pillows. It looks like this is going to be a bad storm." Everyone slowly got fresh clothes and headed to the showers. </p><p>You closed the door of your shower stall and immediatly started to peel off your soaked clothes. You took a quick shower and headed back to the sleepinghut to get your stuff. </p><p>Everyone met in the dininghut with thier pillows and blankets. Erwin and Nanaba had already made dinner. "Dinner's ready!" You sat down at the table with Armin, Marco, Bertholt, Sasha, Connie, Annie and Eren.</p><p>You were eating your fried rice in peace when Jean stood behind you and grabbed your shoulders. "Want to sneek out?" You turned around, facing him. "Fuck no. Did you not hear that there is going to be a bad storm?" He shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"Your no fun." You shook your head and turned back to your food. "And youre increadibly stupid." He padded you on the head and looked at the others. "And what about you guys?"</p><p>---</p><p>The storm had started. You could hear the wind howling around the huts, the rain hitting the widows and there were a few thunders. You were sitting in a circle with the others. Some flashlights were shining because the power was off.</p><p>"Let's play truth or dare!" Reiner had proposed. The others eagelry agreed but you didn't really want to play it. "Come on, y/n!" You tried to resist but Reiner kept pushing. </p><p>"Okay, okay, I'll play!" Content with your awnser Reiner started. "I pick... Eren." Eren nodded. "Dare." Reiner rubbed on his chin, thinking of a good dare. </p><p>"I dare you to take off your shirt." Eren huffed. "You got nothing better than that?" Without hesitation he pulled his shirt over his head and turned towards Sasha.</p><p>"Truth or dare?" "Truth." Eren tried to think of a question. "Would you rather only eat pizza or burgers for a year?" Sasha had to think hard about her response.</p><p>"I would say....pizza." Now she turned towards you. "Y/n, truth or dare?" Your heart picked up speed. "Ummm...truth." Sasha squeked. </p><p>"Okay! Do you have a secret?" Your mind immediatly wandered to that night. The screams and numb feeling in your head. You snapped out of it when Bertholt shook you. </p><p>"Hey, you okay?" You shot up and excused yourself to the bathroom, ignoring the shouts of protest. You fought against the wind and rain. As soon as you entered the girls bathroom you slid down against the door.</p><p>"No, no, no! Pull yourself together! We're not doing this now!" You sat there for a couple of minutes, calming yourself down. You startled when you heared a knock on the door.</p><p>"Shit!" You stood up and opened the door. Mikasa and Sasha were standing infront of the door with concerned looks on thier faces. "Can we come in?" You nodded and let them in. </p><p>"Is everything alright?" You tried to seem as composed as possible but who were you trying to fool. "Yeah." Sasha raised her eyebrows at you but you shook her off.</p><p>"Really, I'm fine. Can we just go back?" They hesitated for a moment but agreed after some time. Together you walked back to the dininghut, where the others were still playing truth or dare.</p><p>You nuged Sasha in the side. "I'm tired, I'm gonna try to sleep over there." You pointed at the corner. She nodded and you got your blanket and pillow. You settled down and closed your eyes.</p><p>You could hear the others laughing and complaining about thier dares. You felt shuffling infront of you. Thinking it was someone doing a dare, you swatted at them.</p><p>You were suprised when the person had caught your hand. It was Mikasa settling down beside you. She didn't say anything. She just sat down beside you and took your head into her lap. She started to scratch your back. </p><p>You fell asleep quite fast after that.</p><p>---</p><p>"Are you out of your minds?!" Mikasa was whispershouting at someone. You slightly opened your eyes. Erwin, Levi, Hange and Nanaba were sleeping at the other end of the hut. Sasha and Annie were almost laying ontop of each other next to you and Mikasa.</p><p>"No! Let us have our fun!" Mikasa shifted under you. "You're insaine! You guys can't go outside when there is a fucking storm right outside that door!" Ignoring Mikasas warning the others opened the door and hurried outside.</p><p>"Motherfuckers-" Deciding to let them go, she slumped against the wall. Annie swatted at Sashas face in her sleep, making a little 'woosh' sound. Sasha stirred but continued her snoring.</p><p>Feeling the sleep tug on your conciousness, you closed your eyes and fell asleep once more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. News</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Someone was shaking you. "Wake up, y/n." You stirred, not wanting to open your eyes. The person kept shaking you but you only reacted when you heard Levi shouting.</p><p>"Where the hell are the other brats?!" You ripped your eyes open. Erwin and Nanaba were infront of you, Mikasa, Annie and Sasha next to you. Nanaba was waking up the other two. Levi approached you with an angry look on his face.</p><p>"Where are the others?! Why are only you four here?!" You slowly sat up, shrugging your shoulders and yawning. "They went outside yesterday." Levis expression only got angrier at that.</p><p>"Fucking idiots! Get up and help us look for them." Everyone stood up and went outside. The wind had blown around all the leaves from the trees and some trash from the day before. It was still quite windy but the storm was gone. </p><p>You, Sasha and Erwin went behind the huts. You noticed some shoes laying around close to the bathrooms. You went a little deeper into the forest before you heard some laughing and fighting.</p><p>"If Levi finds out that we spent the night out in a storm, he's gonna kill us!" Eren hadn't noticed you and your group when he started to walk backwarts. To his suprise he bumped into someone. Erwin. He immediatly turned around.</p><p>"Shit!" Erwin raised one of his eyebrows. "Yeah, shit is the right term here. Everyone gather in the dininghut in five minutes!" The others had noticed you now. Slowly with confused and worried looks on thier faces, they walked towards the dininghut.</p><p>After everyone had gathered in the hut, Levi started to yell. "What the hell were you guys thinking?! You all could have been injured!" He stopped his yelling and rubbed at his forehead.</p><p>"You guys are unbelivable. As a punishment you won't be allowed to come shopping with us, only Mikasa, Annie, Sasha and y/n." Everyone started to complain. Jean even jumped up but immediatly sat back down when he saw Levis expression.</p><p>"Clean up this mess and go shower. We'll meet you after our shopping." Levi turned around and you, Annie, Sasha, Mikasa, Nanaba, Erwin and Hange followed him.</p><p>--- </p><p>After an hour of jamming out in the car you finally arrived at a small store. There was another car in the parking lot but other than that it was pretty empty. Before you could even enter the store you got attacked by two little kids with thier waterguns. The girl had hit Sasha in her side and ran off with the blonde boy following her. A smaller looking woman exited the store with a concerned expression.</p><p>"I'm so sorry about that! Gabi, Falco get here now!" The kids immediatly came running back, holding thier waterguns behind thier backs. They were half giggling and half crying.</p><p>"Now say sorry to the lady that you hit." The girl was looking at the floor, not daring to lift her head. She mumbled a quick "sorry" and the woman seemed to be pleased. With a quick nod she pushed the two kids towards thier car.</p><p>"Sasha are you okay?" You looked at Sasha who was looking weird. In the next second she broke out laughing. "Did you see how cute they were?" Levi was getting annoyed that it was taking so long, so he pushed you all into the store.</p><p>"You guys go buy some food and we'll go look for some cleaning stuff." Levi said to you, Mikasa, Annie and Sasha. You walked in the back, Sasha was skipping in the front and Annie and Mikasa were just walking normally. </p><p>Sasha immediatly began to throw random food into the basket. "Sasha, we don't need all of that." Sasha stopped dead in her tracks, giving you a death glare. </p><p>"What did you say?" You pointed to the basket in you hand. "I said we don't need-" Sasha was infront of you in seconds and picked you up. She threw you over her shoulder, so that your legs were by her front.</p><p>"Put me down, Sasha!" She giggled and continued to carry you around for the rest of the shopping trip. After paying and getting back to the car she finally put you down. Because all of the blood had rushed to your head, you slightly stumbled on your way to your seat. </p><p>Nanaba got into the drivers seat and she took off.</p><p>---</p><p>When you got back it was quiet. Too quiet. You all went into the dininghut where you found the others. "What are you guys  doing?" You immediatly got silenced. </p><p>"Shhh, we're watching some news channel." You crinkled your eyebrows. "The news? Why the news?" Jean looked at you like it was obvious.</p><p>"Because that is the only channel that's working right now." You shrugged it off and walked around to look at the computer screen. There was a female news anchor getting ready for her part. As soon as you saw the title your whole body froze.</p><p>'Man released after setting his familys house on fire.'</p><p>---</p><p>News:</p><p>"Hello and welcome to rose district news. We just got live footage of the release of the man that had killed 6 people three years ago."</p><p>The picture showed a man in an orange jumpsuit in court. You could recocnize that man anywhere. Your head was screaming at you to tell the others to switch it off but you weren't able to do anything. Everyone was huddled infront of the monitor.</p><p>"He was released for good maitnace in prison. The man known as Robert l/n was just released from prison. He had to go to jail after killing his ex-wife, her husband and four kids. He had set the house on fire. Only one of the children had survived but there is nothing known about the girl." </p><p>You blood ran cold through your body. You felt sick and it felt like you would throw up at any moment.</p><p>There was another picture. This time it was a family photo on a christmas card. On it were you, your three little brothers, your big sister, your mom and your step dad. </p><p>Tears shot into your eyes. The others hadn't noticed that it was you yet. They were still watching the news. </p><p>"With that being said, I wish my condolences to the remaining family of the l/n family." </p><p>You hand't noticed that it was over. You got pulled back to reality when Connie turned around, facing you. "Hey, isn't your lastname l/n, y/n?" </p><p>It all got too much. With a shock they realised that it was. Marco tried to reach out and touch your arm but you jumped back. The tears started to fall down your face and you felt that you would throw up.</p><p>You ran out of the dininghut into the girlsbathroom, locking yourself in one of the toilets and you started to throw up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Memorys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING.<br/>This chapters contains self-harm and panic attacks.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You fell limp against the wall. The tears wouldn't stop and the buzzing in your ears kept getting worse. Your vision was blurry from the tears and the lack if oxygin. The dizzyness went as far as almost making you black out. You held back the sobs with no luck. They ripped out of you, making your clench your hands on your stomach.</p><p>The memory of that day kept playing in your head. Everytime you tought you would finally black out the memory started again, making you live trough it over and over. </p><p>You didn't know if the others had followed you but knowing them ,they did. But you didn't think about them twice. You pulled up your sleeves of your hoodie, revealing your old self-harm scars. They went from your wrists all the way to your elbow and further up. </p><p>You started to scratch at them like you used to when they were new and starting to scab. But it wasn't possible anymore because they were all healed up. The urge to make new ones made itself present in your head. Everything in your head and body screamed at you to do it. Luckily there wasn't anything in the toilet that you could have hurt yourself with. In order to satisfy the need to hurt yourself, you kept scratching until your arms were a dark shade of red.</p><p>A scream ripped out of you. The memory had once again started from the beginning.</p><p>---</p><p>Three years ago:</p><p>It was almost 5pm. You ran down the stairs with the bag that you had packed. You mom was in the kitchen with your step-dad and your three little brothers were in the livingroom bothering your older sister.</p><p>You threw your bag infront of the front door and headed to the kitchen. Your mom was cooking and your step-dad was reading a newspaper. </p><p>"Hey, sweetie. Are you eating dinner with us or are you already leaving?" You sat on a chair next to your step-dad.</p><p>"Ah no, sorry. I have to go in 10 minutes." Your step-dad set down his newspaper and gave you a questioning look.</p><p>"Where are you going again? I know you told me but I forgot." You giggled. It was tipical for him to forget everything. He has always been the sweetest and caring step-dad. You didn't really like calling him your step-dad because he was the father that you always wanted.</p><p>"We have volleyball training today and we're spending the night in the sports hall." He nodded and gave you a pat on your head.</p><p>"Do you want me to drive you there?" You shook your head.</p><p>"No thank you. I'm walking there with my friends." He gave you a smile and stood up. He walked into the livingroom where the screams of your little brothers came from.</p><p>"I have to go. Bye mom." Your mom was already at your side and gave you a tight hug. </p><p>"Have fun and be careful." You returned the hug and headed to the front door. You put on your shoes and swung your bad over your shoulder. You left the house and closed the door behind you. Your friends were already waiting on you on your driveway. You hurried over to them and togheter you guys walked towards the school.</p><p>---</p><p>Present:</p><p>Another scream ripped out of you. The best part of that memory was gone. You couldn't remember anything from the volleyball training, no matter how hard you tried. It was all just a blurr to you. </p><p>You hit your head repeatetly against the wall behind you while you were still scratching your arms. You took a quick glance at them before the tears shot back into your eyes. You had scratched so hard that you had started to bleed.</p><p>Suddenly everything stopped. For a moment you tought that you might finally black out or that you would finally go numb. But it was just an illusion. The next part of the memory came to your mind, hitting you like a bus.</p><p>Another scream ripped out if you.</p><p>---</p><p>Three years ago:</p><p>You couldn't sleep. The mat you were supposed to sleep on was hard as a rock and to be honest, you didn't spend the night elsewhere often. Everyone was sleeping exept for you.</p><p>You got up and packed your bag as silent as possible. You snuck out if the sports hall. You had left a note that said that you were going home.</p><p>You left the building and the cold air hit you. The night was clear, the moon was shining and the wind ruffled your hair. You started to walk very slowly towards your house. </p><p>It was calming being alone at night, enjoying the sky. In the distance were some sirens but you ignored them. You were in another dimension. </p><p>You got pulled out of it when an ambulace passed you and shortly after a police car. The sirens rung in your head and the light blinded you.</p><p>You wondered where they were going because in that direction were only your house and a few apartments. You unconciously sped up. Soon a firetruck passed you.</p><p>You were now close enough to see your house. You stopped breathing and your bag fell to the floor. The red and blue light around you kept blinding you. Your head was spinning and you felt dizzy. Your house was on fire, the flames reaching high up into the nightsky.</p><p>Everywhere were firefighters, policemen and doctors. They were clearly yelling but you couldn't hear anything exept for the loud ringing in your ears.</p><p>You went closer to your house. You saw the firemen running inside the house, trying to extinguish the fire. They very soon came running back out with a person in one of thier arms. </p><p>Your knees almost gave out. You started to run. The fireman brought the person to the ambulance, laying them down on a strecher. He shook his head and went back to his collegues.</p><p>As soon as you reached the person, someone pulled you away. You screamed and kicked, trying to get to your little brother. He was laying lifeless on the strecher. </p><p>Another person came to help the other one pull you away. The tears were hot against your skin. You turned around to see two policemen holding you. You looked behind them.</p><p>The same fireman that had carried out your brother had your older sister in his arms. </p><p>"Let me go! This is my family! Let go!" You kept kicking and screaming. The policemen tightened their grip around you. You didn't stop fighting. Evertime another one of your familymembers was brought out you kicked harder. </p><p>Your mom, step-dad and other two brothers were carried out. Everytime they layed them on the strecher the doctors shook their heads. </p><p>You were exhausted and finally gave out. You fell to the ground, sobbing. Every single one of your familymembers were dead. At first they tried to save your sister but her heart soon failed. Your brothers were already dead when they were carried out. </p><p>A policewoman lifted you up and helped you to get over to the policecar. She kept talking to you but you couldn't hear her. She sat you down in the back of the car. Your whole body was shaking and you couldn't breath properly. </p><p>Your breathing and shaking got worse. The policewoman called over a doctor who took a strecher with him. They got you out of the car and put you on the strecher. They immediatly brought you inside the ambulance and hooked you up to an iv. They sedated you to calm you down.</p><p>The sedation worked very soon and you fought against your eyes falling shut. They finally did when they closed the doors of the ambulance and drove off.</p><p>---</p><p>Present:</p><p>You kept screaming, remembering the limp bodys of your familymembers in the arms of the firemen. Your breathing got to the point where you only took sharp intakes and almost never breathed out. </p><p>All of a sudden someone broke open the door to the toilet. Mikasa was standing infront of you, looking at you. She had a shocked expression on her face. She hurried over to you and hugged you. You didn't have the energy to hug her back.</p><p>You looked behind her. Levi was pushing all the others out of the bathroom. Mikasa noticed that you didn't hug her back. She got up and stood infront of you. She picked you up but you still didn't hold onto her. Your arms were limp against your body.</p><p>Mikasa exited the bathroom with you in her arms. She walked over to the sleepinghut. She layed herself down onto your bed and pulled you ontop of her. She cuddled you as close as possible and stroked you hair and back.</p><p>She kept repeating the same phrase over and over:</p><p>"It's okay. I'm here."</p>
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